10 Things That Blew My Mind When I Lost 100lbs

It was a cold evening in September 2017 when I was finally ready to lose weight.

I had spent years looking in the mirror at my almost 300 pound body, obsessing over every roll and stretch mark. I wanted to change the way I looked, I wanted to feel better but I was also convinced that I was destined to stay obese for the rest of my life.

I wasn't ready to change, I wasn't ready to put in the hard work ahead, I wasn't ready to leave my comfort zone in the past.

Without realizing it, I stopped myself from truly moving forward because I was so content in my comfort. I was comfortable with my eating habits despite being so uncomfortable in my skin. I was comfortable with a life that was mostly stationary, despite the discomfort I felt when I looked in the mirror.

I was comfortable with my discomfort.

I remember the tears and the pain I felt when I looked at myself in the mirror. I remember grabbing at my stomach and pulling on my rolls, dreaming of something that would allow me to easily remove them. I remember wishing that I could just grab the scissors and cut off the weight that I so badly wanted to get rid of. I remember crying to my husband because I felt so defeated, so ugly, and so disgusting. I literally hated myself... but I was still too comfortable to do anything about it.

I tried a bunch of different diets; I looked at copious amounts of different programs I believed I needed but couldn't afford. I even found myself inside a health food store one day looking at diet pills that had been advertised to me online, eagerly searching for an easy way out. Well, I got news for you... there isn't one. I had looked at all routes, I had tried all the things, I had felt all the feelings... but I still wasn't ready for change. Then came that night in September, I sat at my family dinner and watched as my overweight family members filled their mouths with the same processed diet foods that I had grown to know as normal. I gazed down upon my plate that was mostly the same brownish hue, and craved the fresh and robust nutrients of the greens that it so desperately lacked. I glanced at all the cups at the table filled with juice or pop and I realized I had had enough. Earlier that day I watched a documentary on the dangers of processed sugars and what sugar truly does to your body... a documentary that would change my life forever. When I looked around and saw all these foods heavily processed and full of sugar I realized that I couldn't live in my comfort anymore. "I'm done being unhealthy and fat, if you're not ready to be healthier that's fine... but I'm changing regardless of your choice."

This is something I actually said to my husband as we made our way home that evening. I took ownership of myself in that moment and I stepped out of my comfort zone for the first time.

Everything changed.

The next few years were filled with tears, celebrations, and more as I made my way to becoming a healthy me. My friends and family watched as I got smaller and my clothes got bigger, as my eating habits changed, and as my confidence grew. Weight loss came with a lot of changes that I completely expected... but there was also so much that came as a surprise. Things that nobody talks about... things that completely threw me off guard... things that made me realize that I needed to share my story. So here are 10 things that completely blew my mind when I lost 100 pounds...

1. How hard it would be to keep going.

I never imagined how hard it would be to keep going once I started, not to mention how long it would take to get to that finish line. It took me two years of constantly getting on and off the weight loss train to reach this mystical goal that I had set for myself.

There were so many times I wanted to give up and give in... so many hard choices I needed to make. My determination was so strong, especially when I started to see that number move on the scale, but a small piece of myself still believed there was no way it'd be possible. I had doubt, like a lot of it, and it constantly sat on my shoulders telling me that I wasn't good or strong enough. I still hear it every once in a while, despite seeing this new person in the mirror.

I had to fight everyday to stay on track and keep going when comfort tried so hard to pull me back and stop me from my dreams. I'm not going to lie, it was HARD... harder then I ever thought it would be... but it was also so unbelievably worth it.

2. No one noticed I was shrinking.

I had this picture in my mind from day 1... I would start to lose weight and as soon as I dropped a few pounds EVERYONE (and I mean everyone,) would start to notice. Guess what... they didn't. At first, I was offended and started to doubt that the changes I was making were worth it (yeah, when I started to lose weight it definitely wasn't about being healthy and all about being skinny.)

"How have they not noticed that I've lost 50 lbs?!" It wasn't until I lost 80 pounds that I heard the first comment about my weight loss. I quickly realized that people noticed I had lost weight, but they were unsure if they should say anything. Not only that, but there's this thing that someone called "the paper towel effect," that made it all click. If you grab a brand new roll of paper towels, you'll notice that for a while it seems like you're not taking any at all. You take a sheet at a time off your big roll without a thought or care and before long it seems like they're almost gone. Honestly, weight loss is very similar and it stops a lot of people from saying anything for fear that they're incorrect. My clothing sizes barely changed within the first 80 pounds, but I had to rapidly search for new sizes when I got past that hurdle. It was as if I started to shrink overnight, even though I had been steadily shrinking for so long. Those around me didn't notice because it wasn't overly obvious.

3. My feet shrunk 2 full sizes

Seriously... I used to wear a size 9 and now they're 7's. This could partly be because I'm now used to wearing SUPER tight climbing shoes (I boulder and you need special shoes for bouldering; special shoes that are TIGHT so that you can use every small part of your foot,) but it's still truth! No one told me I'd be giving away or getting rid of all my old shoes... I'm still kinda bitter that my favourite black heels don't fit anymore.

4. Everyone wanted to know my secrets

After people started to notice the changes I was making, the constant pry for answers started. "How'd you do it? What's the secret? Did you do Keto? You lost how much? HOW?!" I heard and answered it all, but I definitely didn't know it would be so frequent. I had spent so long wondering if anyone would ever notice the changes I was making only to end up in a place where EVERYONE noticed. I was constantly repeating myself, telling everyone that I don't have any secrets. "Eat less sugar and don't give up," was something I would find myself constantly repeating. Weight loss became a part of who I was, and it definitely wasn't something I was truly expecting to happen.

5. People thought they knew what was best for me

This irritated me beyond belief.

I eventually got to a point where I would start to hear comments like, "you're not going to lose any more weight right?" "If you keep going you're going to get too skinny." When I started to hear these comments, it was around the time where my mind shifted from wanting to be skinny to wanting to be healthy. I had started to work out and was gaining muscle, I could see definition starting to form and I looked healthy. This is why I had such a hard time understanding why people were telling me I had gone too far.

The crazy part was that I still wasn't that small at this point, I had broken the 200 pound mark and was back in the 100's when these comments started to come my way. I was still considered overweight, but what I grew to learn was that most of these comments (not all) came from a place of jealousy. What they didn't understand was how offended I would get hearing them... It was like I didn't know what was best for my own body, like they were questioning if I was eating properly and telling me what they thought was best for me (despite the fact that I had done all my research and was very obviously not malnourished.)

6. My confidence grew like CRAZY

I knew I would start to feel better about myself, but I didn't know I would grow so much as a person. The more weight I lost, the more extroverted I became. I went for things that I would have let anxiety scare me out of previously, I grew my friend circle immensely and stopped hiding who I truly was, and I got a job at my gym where I worked hard to do everything that I could possibly do out of my comfort zone. My weight loss pushed me to become someone I always wanted to be, which was so much more then a skinnier, healthier me.

7. My immune system kicked ass

When I was obese, I became so accustom to being sick, tired, and constantly in pain. I remember trying to get into couch to 5k when I was overweight, (in an effort to become more active and healthy,) and within a couple days I had to wear an ankle and a knee brace. I blamed it on genetics, I knew my family had issues with joints young and I figured I was the same. What I didn't take into account was that my family was also overweight.

My body couldn't handle the weight and the food I was eating was weakening my immune system. I caught every sickness, felt pain in almost every movement and convinced myself that it was all because I was getting older. Guess what... I lost 100 pounds and all of that went away. We held a 100 pound party at the gym, people came and climbed and we strapped 100 pounds of weight onto my body. As I walked around the gym I felt all those little pains, that had long gone, come back.

My family didn't jump on the no sugar bandwagon quite as quick as I did. They kept getting all the colds and flu's that came our way, while I stayed healthy despite cleaning up their vomit. I felt like a whole new person and as time went on, it became obvious as to why.

8. Wait... that tastes good now?

I remember thinking "how the heck am I going to eat healthy when everything healthy tastes nasty." I tried dish after dish and would constantly have to edit the recipe to remove the countless amount of vegetables that I disliked. Then this weird thing happened... my dishes started to taste better. My husband started to eat healthy with me and would often complain that he didn't like what he was eating because it tasted too bland. I would be in shock because there were so many spices and flavours in the dish that he somehow couldn't taste. Sure enough with time, he started to taste them too. See sugar does this crazy thing, it edits your taste buds and makes them crave things that hold the same sweetness (something vegetables don't typically do.) With time, my taste buds started to get back to normal and they started to taste all the flavours that sugar had previously hid. If you would have told me 4 years ago that I'd enjoy avocado, peppers, asparagus and more... I'd have laughed in your face. This was totally not something I ever expected to happen.

9. The first time I truly felt healthy

As I said, when I started my weight loss it was all about becoming a smaller version of myself. I lived in this belief that I would be happy if I didn't weight as much as I did. There was a point in my weight loss where I turned my focus from being small to being healthy. Everyone will start their weight loss journey with a number in their mind, a spot they want to get to that they believe they will be happy at. For me, this was 160 pounds, I wanted to get to a point where I was in my younger years... but then I felt what being healthy truly meant and all those thoughts went out the window. I never expected I would get to a point where fitness would be included in my life. I was never really an active person and all of a sudden I was at a place where being strong was important. It wasn't all about feeling successful in the way I looked and instead feeling confident in my healthy body. I spent way more time then I ever would have imagined at the gym getting strong. I trained for the first time in my life for my very first competition and when the day came I never felt better.

Being healthy went hand in hand with being fit and I couldn't get enough of it.

10. Success

Speaking of success, actually reaching that end goal was something I truly believed would never happen. The day I stepped on the scale and saw 160 lbs, I cried... like a lot. I couldn't believe I reached that point, I never expected to ever see the end of my journey and I had no idea where to go next. The stresses of life took over, my mind didn't know what to do anymore. I shifted my focus to fitness and allowed myself to have some sugar again. I worked on maintaining what I had accomplished and lost the drive I had lived with for the past two years. As much as I focused on how to lose weight, I never expected not knowing where to go next. Maintaining that success was one of the hardest things I ever came across and it was 100% something that I never thought would be a problem (mostly because I never thought I'd get to that point in the process.) Yet here I am... a year later, still maintaining, still going strong and working on our eating habits as a family. Every step, every struggle, and every change... completely worth it.